HAPPY DAY!!!

i'm back!

2 beers, few card games and a lot pictures after, i am back here in my grandmother's house. i was at ryan's party (done annually). this year's party was a lot more fun that the others for so many reasons:

1. my now closer relationship with the Esterban Family
due to my driving lessons, i had more time to bond with tito elmo which means more connection to his family. now, whenever he is around, i am no longer the butt of jokes, i am now the baby. of course i cannot escape the household shores that everyone is doing but apparently, as i observed, i have my choice of chores. also in my observations, i saw that i can get from anyone whatever they are doing as long as i like it. there's just one thing i can never get, this is to ride at the back of the tricycle. if taken in the right way this means care for me by everyone.ako na ang inaalagaan dahil..

2. i am the only GIRL
in this town, our family has only ONE family as our relative. in that family they have two sons: Mark and Ryan (who are my second cousins), both of which are near my age. but they are all closer to marvin. additional are three other boys: the twins: John and JP and BJ, who are the first cousins of my second cousins in their father's side. PLUS! the occasional john carl (who is also my second cousin) who visits during this time of the year. that's seven boys around me in every family gathering during the holidays. AND that's the ONLY group of people here that's within my age range. they have no other choice than to treat me specially or else.. or else what? i don't know really. but this has been their treatment for me. always different. always.. SWEET. :) and the sweet treatment mostly comes from:

3. the twins. especially him. hehe :)
the latest addition to the holiday enjoyment. and i admit. i was pretty hooked.

so anyway.. did i bag the boy?
i think it's enough to say that HE sometimes chooses to sit by me. talk. normal stuff. then he makes these really really cheesy bola that always works.

imagine this. when i entered the party, he immediately looked at me. as i neared him, he said, "o, eto na pala ang pinakamaganda kong pinsan!" and then when he came nearer to me, he said: "at pinakamabango pa!"

i am glad to say, the prepping before the party paid off. :D
happy day. :D

he's back!

he and my cousins already came back.

he's wet from the downpour a few moments ago. and omygod. he looks good in it. :D

wait wait!

he just passed by my window. right after my post a few minutes ago.

that's what i almost shouted. wait wait! where are you going!? sama ako!

but then again. in keeping my feelings it's something i can't really do. so i watched him stood outside my window, i-wondering if he saw me and him waiting for my cousins.

crush on a one way street is so hard :(

thoughts of the faithful

only two more days left of my capiz vacation. how sad. really sad in fact because i haven't made a move yet. a move that would define this year. and i only have until tomorrow's swimming in consorcia to prove to myself that all this kilig is not at all for nothing. that i grew up from highschool and that i can finally be one of the girls i often envy for getting what they want and actually fighting for what they want.

so with those diskarte tips from nhau, she predicted i will be successful in bagging the boy. well, i am hoping for the very same. :D

who's the guy anyway? he's someone i saw in Capiz. i do not see him all day. i only see him during the afternooons-when he's here with his brothers and my cousins. family friend. the closest thing i have right now. and since i need change and i want to do something he is now the object of my desire. hehehe!

mom made this remark earlier, telling me how i like those who are younger than me. he was referring to THE boy in Capiz and the one i somehow left in highschool. i bluntly said, "'eto mama ako yong may gusto. 'yong dati, ikaw ang may gusto." she then remarked on how it was actually the highschool guy who likes me. sure sure sure. i don't care anyway.

it's my cousin's birthday tonight. there will be drinks (of course!) and i am invited (duh!) as well as he is (yay!). so i'm looking forward to having this bonding session with him. i am really really really psyched about the whole thing. i wish SOMETHING will happen.

**keeping my fingers crossed. :)

----))((----
to the stars..
i know it ahs been raining all day. but this is the first time since i left highschool that i had WISHES. that i actually BELIEVE in matters of the heart. that i am believing in fate. that i am putting myself out there. may be it's quite impossible. but it never hurts to write and wish. it never killed anyone. (just his hopes)

wishlist before the end of the year.

1. he asking fo my number. (deadline-01-02-2007)
2. ultimate bonding session
3. maybe a kiss. hehehe.

hey! it does not hurt to wish for a little more. right? ;)

why are we broken?

"Love is loving that person even if that person doesn't love you back."
-Tanging Yaman

Is it really worth it to fall in love?

The eternal question when i was in highschool. In four years, the people in that chapter of my life was always preoccupied with this question. How could it not be? It was a room of fourty students whose hormones were raging. It's the easiest thing to do. Frankly, the only to do(aside from studying which was really not a part of the priority list of students then-UNLESS they are failing). So in four years, it was different pairs but still the same people. it starts with the same framework, continues with the plot of a really mushy romantic movie and ends with a party crying inside a cubicle and the other party practically prancing with joy. it was always the same story. it never ceased and yet we were all ebtertained-our own showbiz- and in our lives, we were one of them.

highschool crushes (and loves) are not easily forgotten. some say it is the bitterness(and happiness) of highschool that makes us who we are in our adult lives. it answers the question WHY. imagine that. in my school alone i was eighty students trying to answer the question, being a part of someone else's life, breaking up , getting back again, and again and again the cycle never ended. and yet. eighty students. still. NO ONE could answer the question.


"Why are we so broken?"
"Because we loved. And somewhere along the way, the people we love failed to love us back."
-Keith Scott, One Tree Hill

**to those whose have left highschool with certain bitterness (admittedly or not), i dedicate this to you(myself included). may we find who it is that is meant for us. :)

2nd day vacation-Phil. Issues

2nd day in ten day vacation:

hesitantly woke up. i was dragged out of be by our beloved mannag gamay. (note to self: must kill manang gamay for this). not only that but i was forced to eat breakfast in the state where my head wants so badly to throw itself back to the comforts of my two very vey comfortable pillows. it's just hard enough not squish under pressure but soft enough to give comfort. but once i lazily made my way to the looooong dining table where my mom, my lola and my brother only occupy the other end, i was awaken by the site of the delicious longganisa. the sight of it was not enough for my already awake stomach so i took one bite of it and the steamy rice and the angels all sung. this is life--(along with all the cholosterol i intook from that breakfast). next stop was grocery at Gaisano's (the nearest thing they have to Mall of Asia) and then we had to fetch Tita Ganda. in the afternoon we had lunch at home-it was that delish tinolang isda . i asked for patis. the dish sadly, they don't have it here in my lola's house. apparently, patis is not used here as much as it is in the luzon region. it's very weird though. patis is internationally known as fish sauce. hence, needless to say that it is made of fish. the process is somewhat simlar to making bagoong na isda. visayas is richer in seafood than luzon, so how come it is not used their when the most basic raw material is available at hand?

which brings me to so much questions.

imagine this. we are an agricultural country. rice is the staple food of the country. 70A% of our lands are rice fields.how come we import rice? mango is our national fruit. philippines is internationally known with our great dried mangoes. but, how come mangoes are very expensive in the philippines, so expensive in fact, that even an average income family on a daily basis considers it a luxury to buy a kilo of mangoes?

this is the irony of the philippines. the irony of the country we live in. we do not use what we have. if we do use what we have, we use it improperly. we do not patronize what we have. we'd rather make use of improted good and branded items for the sake of status symbol. more than half of the filipino youth's dream is to work outside the country and earn more.

it easily happens that we point our fingers to9 the government. after all, it's them who are i the news 24/7. but when one looks around closely, he will find even inside your own home, there would be a very simple answer as to why the philippines is STILL a third world country, surpassed by so many nations in Southeast Asia.