is she still?

today i did something i had to do a long time ago. something long overdue. i finally told a friend all the grudge i had been bearing for a very VERY long time. these grudges may i add-is all about her.

let us just say that i really was expecting it to be ugly. but guess what! it was not. know why? because she did not react to anything that i told her. why? because my accusations are true after all. and i was not wrong. i was never wrong all the while. we finally left the resto without even me shouting or raising my voice at any point. katuwa no?

actually hindi. i hated the way she had been like that. all calm and collected. i guess she knows i am right after all. what's the use? but i mean she could have told anything! ANYTHING AT ALL! give me reasons why she did that. give me a reason why she was like that and how the hell did she even had the courage to treat me like that! i guess she just was not like that in anyway.

and as i was saying. she is perfectly timid all through out.

hello! she will NEVER be timid the way she did all those things. o ngayon? ngayon na kailangan mo na siyang magsalita?!?!? asan?!?! eh di wala. shit.

i mean, may magagawa ba naman ako? siyempre wala. kaibigan pa rin after all. so ayon. the day ended that we watched a movie. pero i ewan di ako satisfied.

i would like to think that i am not satisfied because she did not reason at all, she did not argue back, she did not raise her voice. she. she she. all of this. SHE. ok. fine. may be it was me then. i did not get what i expected. i did not get miss panicky all over the whole damn place. i guess that was it then. me.

i admit, although grudgingly, that at the back of my mind, i wanted to shout at her, tell her how lousy she was doing all those things. one lie could be enough to shout. but it did not happen. it did not happen. i so badly wanted to have a reason not to speak to her all througout my life. i really craved for a moment where again, i would come right, that it would be all her fault and i would storm out of the mall. but i guess it was just not right.

she was a friend after all.
or is she still? after all she did?