the thin fine line

This is such a blessed week! I have been blessed by so many things that i can only do as much as be grateful at the very least of everything that i received. I reviewed everything i had written for the past month. what i had written were angst and revenge, hate in general. but, i know, that i am very blessed this year. more than i ever deserved. so as i update this blog for this night, let me start off with thank you's.
--------------------------------------------

Thank you my dear Father up above, for letting me past UP. It was such a memorable event. Although I did not past my first choice, the mere thought that I past the "country's premiere state university" as they say is such a blessing on my part. Akala ko talaga dati, asa naman ako. but here i am! i passed UP!! UP!!! UNIVERSITY OF THE PHILIPPINES!!! and i could not be more happier. i am one step closer to my dreams.

Each event calls for a celebration. This one does. and i want to at least, be able to drink half of the alreayd opened red wine tonight. and i will. i'l drink! but hey, it's red wine. and once in a while, indulgence is important, is it not?

I'm really happy. And of course, very thankful of the support of the family. Especially my dear mother. My mom. I can only recall the day I took my entrance exams, i was near to tears afterwards. I was pressured by my upcoming periodical exams, the tedious reports and projects and my own desire plus others' words, that i MUST and WILL pass UP. pressure. and at that time i could not contain it. mom patiently comforted me with both sweet sugar coated words plus of course, the reality. although the latter was not at all comforting, and actually amde me more depressed, at least, IT WAS REALITY. and it feels good to say it in past tense. because in the end. i did pass. THANK GOD!

The support of my friends. i can remember their patience with me, whenever i feel so sad about UP before the results went out. and thanks to stace. i remember she texted me that her gift for me would be me passing to UP. thanks for the gift Stace!! I owe you a big one! and of course, this list would go on and on if i started mentioning all of my friends. So, to my Best friend (who is equally happy--baka nga happier pa--that i passed, salamat kuya), to the BSP (thanks for the support gals, i love you so much; congrats to shen), to the family (i love you!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! Mummy!!!! THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!! DAD!!! THANKS FOR BELIEVING IN ME!!!), and especially, above all others, to MY GOD, MY DEAR FATHER UP ABOVE, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THIS VERY RARE CHANCE. i would do everything not to let you done. and i hope you'd continue helping me.

-----------------------------------------------

something my father told me few years back crossed my mind. See, my dad is a very intelligent person. That's why he is such an icon. He is a man with intelligence and wisdom. A very rare combination. He told me before that Love and hate has a very thin line. The line could easily break once there is too much of love or too muhc of hate. in both cases, the rule of excessiveness applies.

at the young age, i was a non believer of that preaching. because at that childish mind, love was a venue for perfectness. Love was the story told by my fairytale books,danced by different princesses, experienced by every girl and felt by everyone around me.

Little did i know that the truth was that it was only exploited by every feel good chick flicks, put into commercials by every actor and actress, celebrity and politician just to gain public approval. that was today. few years after. when "love" showed up in front of me, danced to get my attention eager to hold my hand, till i finlaly gave in, only to stop myself just in time before i let it slap my self hard in the face.

but i think it's best that i got a taste of it just before stupidity and idiosyncrasy got better of me. just before college. and i guess i have that SOMEBODY to thank for. though undeniably, i HATE him. still. THANKS. I hate u.

-----------------------------------------------