cries of a fat girl

in the spirit of change, mainly because of my new scholarly development, i decided to shift my wardrobe. suddenly, i wanted to wear skirts, and finally my mother hailed, "she's a girl!" this change has been going on for a month now when i decided to show this change to a friend. in a dinner she invited me to in one of the nearby malls in my hometown, i decided to dress in the most girly fashion known to man, or at least, man meaning her. she pushed me a good 5 feet away from her and toldme, "lumayo ka sa akin,mukha akong katulong mo, skirt skirt ka pa kasi." at this point,i'm elated,becausei did assume that she likes what i am wearing.

so what's my problem you may ask?
here's the problem.

we walked around the whole mall, which took a good 5 minutes or less, of our time when she (or was it i?) got hungry. we went to this japanese fast food and ate. in the middleof eating, she looked at me and said, "pa skirt-skirt kapa,eh ang laki laki mo naman." my eyes widened, i stoppped in halfway of shoving a spoon to my mouth and looked at her hard, trying to burn a hole in her mind like what Scott in X-men does,just to stop myself from pushing her face to her hot steaming molo soup. i wanted to slap the friend. seriously. but i didnn't,not because i did not have the guts, it's because of my respect for the outfit. i'm afraid i might ruin it with the strength of the slap i'm about to give her.

so i smiled at her, and continued shoving the scrumptious tempura down my throat to keep me from strangling the bitch.

why bitch?

1. she's a girl.
2. as a girl, for her age and height, she is fat.(*grudgingly* like me)
3. she is supposedly friend
4. she thought she had the audacity to make this remark,only because she is wearing jeans.
5. she simply is just one.with that comment of hers.

i may be, no, i am seriously fat. i know that, i am at the same time tall and fair complexioned that my stupid brother fondly calls me a household pig. i spend 15 minutes in the table every meal gulfing down anything that pleases my palate then proceed to spending the rest of the day reading and reading on the many books i want to read. i rarely exercise,i rarely walk but i always sleep. my body is full of extra skin (and fat tissues) that should not have been ithere in the first place. my eyes disappear whenever i smile because of my fat cheeks. i could eat six times a day or more if i am depressed.when i shop, i perenially ask for the largest size possible and pants had been in 32 (or was it 34?) for since adolescence kicked in. i cannot shop in the kamiseta because their clothes are up to large only, although i really love their clothes.

but who cares? i can wear anything i want to wear.

if people around me, in the same size as i am do not want to wear girly clothes because they're "TOO BIG",it's their problem,not mine. if they would rather walk the streets in long long long pants and shirts because this hides their figure, let them deal with it. real women have curves, in the right and wrong places. i should be allowed to eat what i want and allowed to wear what i want. to hell with everybody! they should even be imitating me in the first place.